Finding Yourself After Motherhood: Life Coach Ciara Burton's Guide to Burnout Recovery

What if I told you that feeling completely lost after becoming a mother isn't a sign that something's wrong with you—but rather proof that you're outgrowing who you used to be? This week on The Reinvention Room, I sat down with mindset coach and spiritual mom Ciara Burton, whose story of identity transformation will shatter everything you think you know about perfectionism, control, and what it really means to trust your intuition.

The Perfect Life That Wasn't

Ciara's journey started where so many of ours do—with the relentless pursuit of perfection. As a high-achieving corporate executive who had "made it" by every external measure, she thought she had cracked the code on success. She'd healed her body from PCOS through belief work, built her ideal career, and was about to welcome her first child. Life looked picture-perfect.

Then came the cosmic joke that life loves to play on us: everything fell apart.

Her traumatic home birth became the catalyst for a complete identity transformation. The woman who had always been able to control her way to any outcome suddenly found herself face-to-face with surrender—and she had no idea how to do it.

When Burnout Recovery Requires More Than Self-Care

Here's what Ciara's story taught me about burnout recovery: it's not about adding more bubble baths to your routine or downloading another meditation app. True healing happens when you're willing to examine the patterns that got you here in the first place.

For Ciara, those patterns traced back to childhood. When her parents divorced, she stepped into a caretaker role at just 8 years old, developing the belief that if she could control everything, everyone would be safe. Sound familiar?

"My success paradigm was if I can control it, it's gonna be okay," Ciara shared. "I was relying on my own human willpower."

This is the trap so many of us fall into as spiritual moms trying to do it all. We think we can mindset our way through everything, positive-think our way to happiness, and control our way to the life we want. But what happens when life demands something different?

The 16-Inch Journey from Head to Heart

One of the most powerful concepts Ciara shared was what she calls the "16-inch drop from the mind into the heart." This isn't just spiritual fluff—it's a practical shift that changes everything about how you show up in your daily life.

When you're living from your head, you're operating from overwhelm, burnout, and the constant need to perform. But when you learn to drop into your heart, you access a different kind of intelligence—one that knows what you need without having to figure it out.

Ciara's morning practice is beautifully simple: place your hand on your heart and belly, and ask, "What is it that I know I need to do now?" Then sit with the question for 2-3 minutes without trying to solve anything. The answer, she promises, will fall into your awareness.

Learning to Trust Your Intuition Again

For those of us recovering from perfectionism and control issues, trusting yourself can feel terrifying. We've been taught that our worth comes from getting it right, being the best, and never making mistakes. But what if trusting your intuition is actually the most radical act of self-love you can practice?

Ciara's definition of self-trust is revolutionary: "Self-trust is the experience of having your own back. It's mixed with love for yourself. If you're gonna trust yourself, you have to love yourself."

This means becoming your own best friend instead of your harshest critic. It means learning to say no to things that aren't aligned, even when you technically have the capacity. It means recognizing that you should be saying no just as often as you're saying yes.

The Power of Aligned Action

One of the biggest shifts in finding yourself after motherhood is learning the difference between aligned and misaligned action. How many times have you said yes to something because you felt you should, not because it felt good in your body?

Ciara works with women who can't even answer basic questions like "What's your favorite color?" or "What's your favorite flower?" We've become so disconnected from our own preferences that we don't know what we actually like anymore.

The practice here is simple but profound: before saying yes to anything, pause and consult yourself first. Is this a hell yes in your body, or are you saying yes out of obligation, people-pleasing, or the belief that you can handle anything?

Redefining Success as a Spiritual Mom

Perhaps the most beautiful part of Ciara's story is how she redefined success itself. Instead of measuring her worth by external achievements, she learned to partner with what she calls "the unseen forces of the universe."

Her new success paradigm became: "God and the universe have my back. My success is inevitable."

This isn't about becoming passive or giving up your agency. It's about recognizing that you don't have to muscle your way through life alone. When you learn to co-create with something bigger than yourself, life starts to flow with more ease.

Your Next Steps in Identity Transformation

If Ciara's story resonates with you, here are three things you can start today:

1. Practice the morning heart check-in: Ask yourself what you know you need to do now, and listen for the answer without trying to figure it out.

2. Audit your yeses and nos: Look at your current commitments and ask which ones are aligned with who you're becoming versus who you used to be.

3. Create space for silence: Turn off the constant input—podcasts, music with words, the noise that keeps you from hearing yourself.

The Permission You've Been Waiting For

Here's what I want you to know: you're not broken, and you don't need to be fixed. You've outgrown where you are, and that discomfort you're feeling? It's not a problem to solve—it's an invitation to expand.

Finding yourself after motherhood isn't about going backward to who you used to be. It's about discovering who you're becoming when you finally drop the masks and trust that the woman underneath is more than enough.

Your burnout recovery starts with the radical idea that maybe, just maybe, you already have everything you need to create the life you're craving. You just need to get quiet enough to hear it.

Connect with Ciara:

• ciaraburton.com

• @ciaramburton

• becometheceoofyoursoul.com

And if you feel inspired to amplify your own voice, let’s talk about starting your podcast journey. Book your free clarity call here. Your message deserves to be heard.

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If you’ve got a podcast or an idea that won’t leave you alone, here's your sign to take it seriously. Not just because it's fun (it is), but because it can change how people see you, connect with you, and trust you. That's the magic.

And if you're wondering how to make it actually work? Book a free clarity call with me at allisonhare.com/freecall. I'll help you turn that idea into a tight, bingeable, client-attracting machine.