I was so broke.

I chased the spotlight. Big money. Big dreams. Big impact.

Yet, I had gotten myself into such a mess.

I sold my house. My car. My lavish dresses and jewelry.

My credit cards were completely maxed out. I lived in the basement of someone’s townhouse.

I don’t even know how I got food sometimes. Or had enough gas to go anywhere. Or find a more stable job.

I got sucked into the trappings of success from an MLM company when I was a sales director at Mary Kay Cosmetics.

“You have to look the part! People want to HAVE what you have.”

I was told I would fail if I left. I would be a quitter.

But it didn’t feel right anymore. I felt so much cognitive dissonance.

I BELIEVED in the mission to help women. And I always believed I could do something great.

But I was drowning.

And I was so disappointed in myself.

My naivete that my income would keep going up and to the right!

I didn’t trust myself anymore.

I looked for answers in every guru, motivational speaker, inspirational quotes, author, religious figure, any a-hole off the street that seemed to have confidence.

So many stories were being created about money and its meaning.

I was SO sure that no guy would ever want to be with me.

I was a liability with all this debt.

And didn’t want to ever be a burden on anyone else.

If you read all this again, can you hear the language?

Can you hear the implications of my self-worth and value as it relates to money and my relationships?

We can be complete effing A-HOLES to ourselves.

So, I’m setting out to untangle and rewire these deeply buried beliefs.

And I got Dr. Seth Gillihan, cognitive behavioral therapist and Ivy League educated PhD on Culture Changers Podcast, talking about money and mental states.

Listen here.

Show notes page

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Castbox

Google Podcasts

Stitcher

Xo,

Allison

P.S. I’m on a plane as I write this to Sedona, AZ for a retreat. What’s the retreat about? Funny you should ask. Removing money blocks and money mindsets for women with Elyse Archer. It’s way woo but I’m genuinely invested in dealing with this head-on. Follow me on IG stories for real-time updates.

P.P.S. Also, on the plane, super inspired and moved by this. I get an almost euphoric joy from watching movies on a plane. Anyone else? No? Just me. Okcool.

P.P.P.S. Where do you notice your hang-ups about money? Can you email me back? I’m working on a little something with your ideas. As always, thank you!