It just hit me like a ton of bricks.

I don't have a best friend and I now know why.

Remember when the Secret was in its heyday?

At the time, I was probably at my lowest point.

Toxic non-boyfriend (yep, you read that right, wouldn't commit), $45K in debt, credit cards maxed, sold my house, my car, no job, just a big fall.

I did have a best friend at the time. We were sooooo close for many, many years and I adored her.

She actually introduced me to The Secret.

And she said, "Allison, I know you're going through a lot - but I can't deal with all this negativity."

I felt so crushed. And betrayed.

We aren't close anymore although we occasionally talk.

And honestly, since then, my guards have always been up around her.

Today, I'm a low-maintenance friend.

I published this blog post called You're Too Intense last September and boy, did it strike a chord.

Turns out there are A LOT of folks reading this blog that have been called "A LOT."

I've been hiding all of the rough edges.

Smooooothing out the jagged parts so even when I am bearing my soul and being "vulnerable," it's still pretty polished.

I can blow people away with my intensity.

And I realized that I haven't shown up as my full self for years.

I've been afraid it will be too much and I'll end up as a high-maintenance friend.

i.e. Drama....which I'm allergic to.

So OF COURSE I don't have a best friend. How could I?

I haven't even given myself the courtesy to be myself. And fall apart. Ever.

Let alone let anyone else get too close.

Or I might blow them away, too.

What about me am I so scared of other people seeing?

It's not a quick or simple answer. So I am unfolding in real time.

And speaking of unfolding,

I had such an interesting conversation about rethinking race on the podcast.

I am a daughter of an immigrant father from Lebanon. A man who speaks five languages fluently, is incredibly intelligent and kind. and a man who has been fighting many stereotypes since he moved to the US in the 1950's.

My guest is Dr. Gabriela Livas Stein who has dedicated her extensive academics and research on Ethnic-Racial Issues especially as it relates to child development.

She gives us so much to consider as we consider each other.

Listen here:

Show notes page

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Castbox

Google Podcasts

Stitcher

xo,

Allison

P.S. Sheesh! This SHIRT says it all! Get one here.

P.P.S. Feeling the love for V/Galentine's week? Me too. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

P.P.P.S. This cracked me UP and I feel so seen!