$45,000 in debt. Left my career with no idea where I would work next. Living in someone's basement (and she HATED me...pshaw, the NERVE!). Sold my car. Sold my house. Started completely over with no idea where to go.

The shame of going from being a six-figure earner to becoming a hundredaire was pretty crushing.

And it was all my fault.

I was single and I KNEW that no guy was going to want to be with me unless I had my sh*t together.

I literally viewed myself as a liability to any man until I could dig myself out of debt and get back on my feet.

I hustled. Started from the very bottom in a new career. Worked at Longhorn Steakhouse at night. I didn't have money for gas. And barely had enough food to eat.

I had done this to myself. It took me five years of being ultra disciplined and financially responsible to pay it completely off.

Isn't it interesting? it didn't even hit me until I sat down to write this blog post that I actually considered that I had no value to a man unless I had no baggage (especially financial baggage).

Um, wtf?

In my mind, I needed to be validated by a man to be deemed worthy AND I had to clean it all up before I could be considered desirable.

Was this something you experienced, too? Just me? Oy!

And of course, I was rewarded and celebrated when I became debt-free.

We've had such conflicting and problematic messaging around money and our value.

It's something that requires taking another look, though.

And perhaps rewiring some of the sub-layers so we can have a much healthier relationship to ourselves and to money.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:21

You're not going to find me quoting Bible verses very often but this one had me rethinking some things.

Where do you spend your money? And where do you resist?

I mean, if you look at mine, you'll realize that YES, I love my kids and also, LOVE spending way too much money to not look like I am aging and still look like I #stillgotit. (more on that later).

In many cases, here are a few places we don't bat an eye on spending big bucks:

• Our kids' travel baseball team

• Our annual family vacation

• Attending a wedding (new dress, make-up, jewelry, shoes, hair, babysitter, gift)

• A dinner out

• Botox, hair color, lash extensions, skincare, blah blah.

Trust me, there is NO judgment here. I LOVE spending money on these things because they are fun and full of possibilities.

But it should open a good hard look and where we really RESIST investing.

• Asking for help (full stop). 🛑

Now, I am fully aware that we don't even think we need help because we've also been conditioned to fix it all ourselves and "not be needy."

Gen X women like me and maybe you have been living according to an impossible standard.

And the truth beneath the truth is that we are in a national crisis - a loneliness epidemic.

Personally, it's been echoed in almost every conversation I have with high-performing women.

And now that we know, we have more agency to pivot more powerfully if the muse is beckoning for you.

Imagine a world where you can safely lay your armor down, have the time and space to stretch your wings wide, and it allows you to reconnect with your purest self - no masks, no airs, just your beautiful and smart self shining bright.

Good news for you, I have some tools to help.

Heather Chauvin, leadership coach, parenting expert, and the host of the hit podcast Emotionally Uncomfortable was my most recent guest on Late Learner podcast.

Her no BS unconventional approach (my favorite kind) will have you walking away with some more modern and effective tools.

EP204: Emotionally Uncomfortable to feeling good with Heather Chauvin

Here's are a few things you'll learn:

• Shifting identities and rebuilding

• Super effective 10-minute habit on having the feelings you want

• Energetic time management and changing the emotional current

• What is toxic motherhood?

• Identity shifting is a death and how to handle it

• Rethinking emotional intelligence in relationships

• Do you use your children to block your success?

Okay, gonna grab my emotional support water bottle and go for a walk.

xo,

Allison

PS: Thinking about partnering with a coach specializing in effective shifts without dropping any balls (or blowing up your life)? Curious as to what you could get out of it? I am offering a no-obligation free breakthrough call as I am opening 2 new spots for private coaching.

PPS. Looking for a hilarious podcast? This one is great. I'm in the market for funny podcasts! Will you reply back and let me know what is making you LOL (like actually laugh out loud, not LQTM - laughing quietly to myself)?