Women's activism starts in the most ordinary moments. Shannon Watts was folding laundry when she saw the news about Sandy Hook. I was crying in the shower after Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation. Maybe you were driving carpool when something inside you snapped and you thought, "Someone needs to do something about this."

Here's the thing that Shannon Watts taught me in our conversation: that someone is probably you. And the reason you're hesitating isn't because you're weak—it's because you're wise enough to see all the ways the system is set up to stop you.

The Bias Towards Action vs. Letting Someone Else Handle It

When Shannon started Mom's Demand Action, everyone told her she wasn't the right person. No experience in gun violence prevention. No political background. Just a stay-at-home mom in Indiana who was pissed off and tired of waiting for someone else to fix things.

Sound familiar? How many times have you had an idea, seen an injustice, or felt called to do something—only to talk yourself out of it because you're "not qualified"? This is what Shannon calls having a bias towards action versus a bias towards letting someone else handle it.

The brutal truth? There is no perfect person waiting in the wings. There's just you, right now, with whatever skills and passion you've got. Shannon had severe ADHD, a debilitating fear of public speaking, and zero activist experience. She was exactly the wrong person for the job—which made her exactly the right person.

Why Blowback Is Predictable (And None of It Is Personal)

Let's talk about the thing that stops most women cold: blowback. Shannon faced death threats, had extremists driving by her house, and was told by a police officer that's "what you get when you mess with the Second Amendment."

But here's what she learned that changed everything: all blowback is predictable, and none of it is personal.

Think about it. If you decide to live differently—whether that's starting a movement, asking for a promotion, setting boundaries, or just refusing to people-please—you're going to get pushback. People are invested in you staying exactly where you are. Your changing threatens their comfort zone.

Shannon calls this the double bind of "fucksgiving"—women are expected to give all the fucks about everything (our families, communities, work, the world) while simultaneously giving zero fucks about what people think of us for caring so much. It's an impossible standard, and the sooner we name it, the easier it becomes to navigate.

The Fire Formula: What's Limiting You vs. What's Calling You

Shannon's "fire formula" is deceptively simple: figure out what's limiting you and what's calling you. Then build small and big fires around that awareness for the rest of your life.

What's limiting you might be:

• False fires like the pressure to find your "one true purpose"

• The martyrdom trap (Shannon worked for FREE for 11 years trying to be seen as a "good girl")

• Perfectionism that keeps you from starting

• The belief that pursuing what you want makes you a bad mother

What's calling you includes:

• Your abilities (and women consistently undervalue these)

• Your values (which change throughout your life)

• Your desires (often dormant because we've been taught to prioritize obligations)

The magic happens when you stop fulfilling everyone else's expectations and start asking yourself daily: What do I want?

Why Women Fear Their Fire

During our conversation, Shannon shared the most common fear she hears from women: "I'm worried that pursuing what I want will make me a bad mom."

Men don't have this fear. They don't worry that following their dreams will damage their children. But women? We're convinced that taking up space means taking something away from someone else.

Here's what the experts told Shannon: when women come alive and pursue what fulfills them, two things happen with their kids. First, it takes pressure off them—kids don't want to be your entire source of purpose. Second, it gives them an example of how to live authentically.

Shannon's kids don't remember the soccer games she missed in 2006. What they remember is the example she set of fighting for what matters.

Building Sustainable Change (It's About Winning and Finding Your People)

Here's something that surprised me: Shannon's organization had incredible volunteer retention rates. When they studied why people stuck around, they found two factors:

1. People felt like they were winning. Even when they lost battles, volunteers could see progress—500 good gun laws passed, the first federal legislation in a generation, thousands of candidates elected.
   
   

2. People found their tribe. They stuck around because they didn't want to disappoint their people, because they'd found like-minded women who shared their values.
   
   

This is why the work can't be done alone. You need your bonfire—the community of women who will support you when the blowback gets intense and celebrate when you win.

The Long Game: Activism as a Marathon

The suffragettes were beaten, starved, and imprisoned. They never saw women get the vote. But they built the foundation that made it possible for subsequent generations to finish the work.

Shannon reminds us that all meaningful activism is a marathon, not a sprint. It's also a relay race—you have to be willing to pass the baton when it's time to prioritize your wellbeing or when someone else is better positioned to carry it forward.

The question isn't whether you'll finish the work in your lifetime. The question is whether you're willing to build something that matters for the women who come after you.

Your Fire Is Waiting

Shannon didn't start Mom's Demand Action until she was 41. She wrote a bestselling book at 54. She organized the largest Zoom in history during a time when she thought she was taking a break from activism.

Your fire isn't going anywhere. It's not too late, you're not too old, and you're definitely not unqualified. The world needs whatever anger, passion, or calling is burning inside you.

The only question left is: are you ready to choose action over waiting for someone else to handle it?

Because as Shannon learned that night she couldn't sleep after Sandy Hook, sometimes the person you've been waiting for is you.

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If you’ve got a podcast or an idea that won’t leave you alone, here's your sign to take it seriously. Not just because it's fun (it is), but because it can change how people see you, connect with you, and trust you. That's the magic.

And if you're wondering how to make it actually work? Book a free clarity call with me at allisonhare.com/freecall. I'll help you turn that idea into a tight, bingeable, client-attracting machine.