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Rethinking Perfectionism

February 02, 20242 min read

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Final touches on a presentation. That course you were going to put out there but wasn't sure it was ready.

That social media post that's HELLA opinionated but you haven't posted.

That business idea you were kicking around but haven't figured out how to put it together. Or told anyone about it.

It's not baked yet.

When you're further along, you will share.

But for now, you don't want to be embarrassed.

Maybe when you're more confident.

And it got me thinking:

Is perfectionism just code for deep dark fears that you are "not good enough?"

It's no secret that we are our own worst critic. And there is another framework that can give us far more power and leverage to not be stopped by it.

Turns out, there are 5 distinct types of perfectionism - AND has a much more positive and adaptive outlook and usefulness than society (or our minds) would lead us to believe.

If you're curious, I'm what's known as a "messy" perfectionist. Start-happy but can get bored in the messy middle.

What kind of perfectionist are you? Lucky for you, here's a quick quiz.

And even more exciting, I was SO blown away by her book, The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control, that I had to have the author and renowned therapist, Katherine Morgan Schafler on Late Learner Podcast.

LISTEN HERE:

EP205: Rethinking Perfectionism: What Type Are You? with Katherine Morgan Schafler

Here's are a few things you'll learn:

  • The 5 distinct types of Perfectionism (does this track with you?)

  • self-punishment vs. discipline

  • Gender bias in language

  • Adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism

  • Why does restoration feel like failure to perfectionists and how to combat it

  • Control vs. power in the vein of BEYONCE!

  • Gray rocking

  • The Good STUFF! Surprisingly True Useful Fun Fact right at the top of the episode

Okay, gonna post that stupid Reel draft right now...maybe.

xo,

Allison

PS: What if you had some hidden mojo you didn't even know about? I put together a fun way to find it for you. Check this out.

PPS. What are you watching this week? We just finished bingeing the return season of Love on the Spectrum. So sweet. I can't tell if it's celebratory or not - but I love the visibility and awareness.

PPPS. Already forgot your New Year's intentions? Or straight-up determined to create the year of your dreams but want to accelerate the outcomes? Get the rock-solid strategy, sounding board, execution plan, and accountability that fits you. If that sounds like you, book a free exploratory call with me here.

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Allison Hare

Allison Hare is the former sales executive turned lifestyle entrepreneur. She’s the host of the award-winning, top 1.5% globally ranked podcast, Late Learner and a personal coach for professional mothers and a keynote speaker.

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